wakey wakey hands off snakey
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
I think my new low is running outside in a towel to pet a particularly fluffy looking squirrel and projectile vomiting off the balcony.
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
After the bar we stopped to Meijer where I found myself singing little mermaid while rubbing a pack of hotdogs on my face..
YOUR MANICOTTI IS FULL OF LIES
Sorry i meant to send that to my mom
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
Riddle me this: why did I wake up next to a stuffed sword fish?
Randomize
