That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
just woke up to a get well card i wrote myself when i was drunk. it was by the advil. i am a cocky bitch.
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
We were dancing and she was clawing my stomach like a fat kid getting to a half broken pinata.
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
He acted like he was sleep fucking because I woke up to him screwing me in the middle of the night and he had is eyes closed and was mumbling things the whole time and wouldn't respond to me.
Is that even possible?
I called him by the wrong name to test him and he instantly stopped, rolled over and acted like he was still sleeping...I think he might break up with me tomorrow.
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
The vodka gummy bears are so strong. If I die of alcohol poisoning, please tell my dad it was single malt scotch.
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
Randomize
