Why don't I have your new number? And who have I been texting?
you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
dude she snuck out while I was still sleeping then was banging on the door 10 minutes later cuz her car was brokedown. how was I suppose to recognize her??
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
Did I send you an asleep facebook message about the upcoming football season titled 'BRILLIANT' at 4:45 this morning?
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
Awkwardly walking by your fuck buddy and waving a casual hi in his direction like nothing has happened is probably the best thing in my life
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish?
Why are there two phone calls to calgary police in my phone and why is there a voicemail from you asking for bail money
I swear to god those aren't related
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
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