You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
Woke up to a bouquet of flowers in my toilet bowl. Drunk hubby loves me.
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
There's a wake for a coworker on 420 during te time of 420... Hoping everyone will be too sad to notice how high I am.
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
I took a sleeping pill while he was in the bathroom. Time for a game of how long can we bang before I fall asleep.
You are both horrible and amazing
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
If I don't get to have sex with him soon my entire female reproductive system is gonna climb out of my body and choke me to death
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
I figured it out! There's blood on the kitchen floor because I fell into the dishwasher. And there's a face dent. And it doesn't work.
Yea.....I saw that happen.
Randomize
