Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
Your tits are I can't wait for
I woke up on my floor...
I woke up with colors of the wind playing on repeat on my laptop...
dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
So I think I just got a job offer from the guy I used to blow. See, networking pays off.
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
You tried to initiate "Occupy McDonald's" when the cashier didn't give you enough ketchup.
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
Well I mean enduring a 45 minute conversation about C-sections was worth the 9 jello shots those soccer moms gave me.
So the other day we finished having sex and he literally said "what are we going to do about your vagina?" Like, I hadn't even dismounted him yet.
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
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