Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
On the bright side his mom approves of me. Though it's apparently because she sleeps with married men and has a soft spot for "fellow homewreckers"
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
I feel like I deserve an award for facing my fear of penises in my face.
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
It's like my life is one of those movies where after a bunch of outlandish events that only happen in a movie the girl realizes her true life calling and lives a great life with a sexy man of multiple races. But I'm stuck in the fucked up part where 25 year olds come in their pants.
I don't like pregnant me. I eat very large burritos, I don't like having sex and I can't even finish a Blue Moon.
Paycheck hits in 37 minutes and I literally just emptied my handle of Tito's. If that isn't budgeting like a fucking adult, I don't know what is.
Randomize
