is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
I wish there was a hungover fairy to brush my teeth and bring me a diet coke.
I hope as the only other living being in this apartment you can explain to me why the toilet was full of cheerios this morning.
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
You called me to pick you up from the bar at 9:00. When we drove over the speed bumps you put your hands in the air and pretended you were on a roller coaster.
But it's ok cause then I turned my tequila blanket into a tequila comforter and I felt no pain
He was chasing Ciroc shots with sips of Captain Morgan... he didn't make it to midnight
Hungover playing piano at a baptism I am the PICTURE of class I feel like I should be struck by lightning
Well I smoked some weird shit and I think I peed on my phone.
I'm highly inebriated watching star wars, this text was sent via the force
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
Randomize