I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?
What can I say, I'm a giver.
Smoking up the homeless at 3am does not make you a humanitarian.
Last time i carry you out of a forest
Well, if you're getting/have gotten your dick sucked, you're welcome. If not, I tried. Step up your game, pussy. I pulled a MacGuyver and got mine. No excuses bro.
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
I just hooked up with the same bartender my dad cheated on my mom with in the 90s. Not sure how this makes me feel.
family traditions my good sir
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
Randomize
