She's JV to your varsity
this wart on my finger ripped off while i was fingering this girl the other night. she thought she had gotten her period and started crying so i went with. its better for both of us that way
If I die tonight, wear a V neck to my funeral.
is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
only you would photoshop your dick
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
I'm just going to text him the word sex repeatedly until he comes over.
Did it work?
Duh, it only took 27 texts and 15 minutes and he was at my front door.
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
He was supposed to visit me tonight but he decided to stop in Tacoma so now I'm sitting on my bed naked eating oranges and candy corn while I watch Parks and Rec.
Now I have to hook up with him tomorrow DURING THE DAY.
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
When i like your selfie it means one of two things. 1. thats a nice photo, friend. OR 2. I wanna bend you over a table. But youll never know.
Their children would look like the Michelin man and smell like chef Boyardee
Randomize
