Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
I keep getting texted pictures of my husband with other men. I can't figure out if he wants a divorce or a threesome?
the bouncer watched the girl drop her ID, saw me pick it up and say OMG SHE LOOKS LIKE ME, and then let me use it to get into the bar
He was dressed as ron burgundy and his pickup line was "dont worry, i wont make you jump in a bear pit."
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
I lost my favorite bra in his hotel room. Is it bad that that's the only reason I hope he texts me tomorrow?
Help me help you realize you are a moron
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
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