On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
And for 6 straight hours, I laid on my bedroom floor trying to convince myself it would perfectly acceptable to pee on my own floor
so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
I'm a wonderful, drunk angel of hydration and sometimes absinthe.
Hey dude this is some next level no homo shit but im gonna get 2 tickets to the opera and go Hail Mary on this one girl. U take the extra ticket if i fail.
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
The perfect man would keep a whisky sour in my hand and give me endless sex. I really don't think that's too much to ask for.
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
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