I just named my vagina "The Boneyard"
More like "Chia Pet"
Do you think my parents will accept my drinking habits more if I told them I like to drink every night because I take good shits the next morning?
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
Last night you told me to stop being Martha Stewart and asked if I had Taco Bell in my house
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
did I ever tell you about my gay jesus theory?
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
It's your last night of vacation right? Be the Oprah of dick. And you get a dick... and you get a dick, and you get a dick!!!
If he's dating my cousin now, do I have to erase the pictures of his dick off my phone? Ugh, morals.
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