I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
My fridge broke, and apparently the back is missing. The repair guy just fixed it with a pizza box. I didn't ask where the box came from, but it wasn't mine. Reason #20 why rent is cheap.
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
Also, being stuck with my family all week has made it very clear that I need to be drunk and I need to be fucked pronto
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
CUM CAME OUT OF MY NOSE. MY SINUSES ARE ENTIRELY FUCKED UP NOW BC OF THE CUM TRAVELING IN PLACES IT SHOULD NOT HAVE.
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
Mom got drunk as hell, crashed Dad's wedding and some how left with the best man. This is why you should be glad you aren't my sibling.
Legit just heard the bartender tell some Dude "Penis is not an accepted currency in this establishment" and Dude responded "You take Vagina then?"
Randomize
