life is too short to starve
life is also too short to be fat
Why did I wake up this morning with 10 tally marks on my hand and a penis drawn on my tits?
six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
She thought someone was breaking in but when I said it was me she got even angrier and threw a coffee mug at my head.
Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
Why is this not the first time I’ve seen the mugshot of someone I’ve slept with
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