guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...
I looked at you and you stared at me dead in the eyes then sprayed febreze at your crotch and winked.
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
Look, I said I'm sorry. In the shower, "are you happy to see me" sounded just like "could you please pee on me". Honest mistake.
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
Dude we need to hang out soon. I'm in the mood to get arrested again.
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
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