the vacuum is drunk
what?
i spilled my drink and tried to vacuum it and now the vacuum is drunk
He is such a slut. More and more my type.
am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
My penis hasn't been this frustrated since I was like 13 and I awkwardly got boners at school dances
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
My goal tonight is to get arrested because what cop can say they have ever arrested a giant sperm before. God I love halloween
I'm so incredibly high right now the fact I am texting is nothing short of miraculous. Call the Pope. Hell make me Saint Roy, patron of stoners.
You know you're hung over when the glare from the cream cheese on your bagel is just too bright...
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
Randomize
