i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
We have an unspoken agreement. He helps me move and I give him a blow job. It's really unfair to him considering he doesn't know how much shit I have.
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
Why do i feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear?
I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like'
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
Trump won PA by a fucking landslide. If only Cruz hadn't eaten that booger.
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
Randomize
