You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
i just defriended some girl because according to her status she "doesn't give a fuck about shark week."
i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
That dude with the beard walked up to me, turned my water into wine with everclear and kool-aid, and walked away. Pretty sure drunk Jesus is back.
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
hurry there's a jack Daniels slip n slide and clothes are coming off faster than I can even comprehend oh thank god for autocorrect
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
Randomize
