OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
I feel like sober is me a distant relative that I only see on christmas..
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
I feel bad for the cleaning lady. All you can smell is latex and Jaegermeister
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
Randomize
