Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
fuck you guys, stop putting fake babies in my car the cops came again.
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
Went to 7-11 to buy condoms with the $20 I found on the ground outside Rite Aid. A good day for drug stores
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
“before I show up tits a blazing, what’s the sexual temperature here?“
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
Randomize
