Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
i broke my thumb. i no longer have 2 opposable thumbs. i'm sub-human. i love vicodin.
We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
So we walked by this chick's house and she starts yelling at her boyfriend "STOP HITTING ME WITH YOUR DICK"
Do you think this abandoned cigarette has herpes? cuz I'm tempted.
Apparently oprah and I were in competition to see who's ass could get bigger this summer
she asked me what the final straw was. i had to tell her i caught him jerking off to digimon porn. i don't know what i'm more upset by, that he was masturbating to cartoons, or that he was masturbating to sub-par cartoons
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
Randomize
