you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
Flying to Orlando on the 7th is cheaper than the 8th by like three margaritas.
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
There is only one good excuse for how sore I am right now. And that is incredibly acrobatic sex. Unfortunately for me that is not my excuse.
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
Wait... why were you finger painting at one in the morning?
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
You went outside, peed in the front yard, and asked me to bring you some toilet paper.
Randomize
