oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
I told him I was pregnant. Figured it would soften the blow of telling him I had herpes.
Did it?
Not as such, no.
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
Watching her eat just hurts me
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
When you get a chance, you should call Nick. He REEAAAALLLLLY wants to hear you make chewbacca noises.
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
I guess what I'm trying to get to is that my dog sneezed on my dick earlier and its really taken the joy out of my evening.
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
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