I woke up this morning and the first thing i saw was the harry potter tattoo on his left butt cheek.
I was so high I couldn't tell if they were goosebumps or herpes.
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
I'm drinking beergaritas with a dog who is high and a baby
your completely serious
I just saw a guy in a sombrero and holding an inflated blow-up doll in all her "glory" get escorted out of the mall. I hate Marley.
I'm gonna cougar town the shit out of that prom.
Repeat. Dildo on the ceiling, confiscated potato shooter, and bottle of yegger. Repeat. Ceiling dildo and yegger.
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
Our sex is like an episode of "The Simpsons." Picture Homer choking Bart, and that's pretty much what we're into.
Randomize