shouldve known this week was gonna be bad when I threw up in my coffee mug
Your dignity remains intact. He, on the other hand, is completely convinced he slept with your cat.
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
Is it wrong in Austin to talk to the homeless while I feed a bird my chips??
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
Feel like I died but someone put me In a human microwave and I got back to life.
Just try not to burn your pubes off with sparklers this year.
No promises
Yeah well you try taking nice pictures while you have pizza crust lodged in your throat
listen i get youre a daddy dom but that doesnt give you a pass to make dad jokes
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
Randomize
