She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
I ride home in a shopping cart. Don't at like you aren't jealous.
woke up next to her writing my name in some journal. apparently she makes every guy she hooks up with sign out.
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
hotel security told us you walked into the hotel with blood all over your dress, weren't wearing any underwear and were escorted back by three men who were believed to be "homosexuals".
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
I don't need you anyway! I have puppies and booze!
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
drunk snapchatting is the worst, because i woke up with great pictures of my tits saved to my memories and no idea who i sent them to
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
Randomize
