You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
We are magical, pot smoking, smart as hell, single as fuck, woodland dolphins.
I forgot to ask you how long you're housesitting. By which I mean how many bones can I get in averaging 2.5 bones per day.
20.
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
I chatted up the pastor's son on Grindr during the service. Still ridiculing my decision to go to church this morning?
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
Oh man. I threw up in the first cab. Got kicked out. Roamed somewhere for awhile. Fell asleep in the back if the second cab. Woke up in my underwear on the living room floor with a frozen pizza (thawed) laying next to me
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
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