ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
Duuuude. Everything is so brilliant right now. This frosting is freaking orgasmic.
It's vanilla, man. Accept no substitutes. There are so many t's in that word.
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
Dude, you passed out sitting straight up AND in mid sentence last night
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
He talked to you for like two seconds while you were shit faced doing Forest Gump impressions...how is that possible?
FYI, grandma is already drunk and using a bed sheet as a table cloth.
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
A 5 day bender that ended with refusing to pay my bar tab before I left the city. I offered to send them a selfie so they knew to never let me back in.
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
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