so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
not only did i soak my thesis by spilling celebratory shots on it, but i also stained it with lipstick making it obvious i tried to drink the vodka off it......dgaf, worth it.
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
I made him leave at 3am, he texted me a couple minutes later and said the elevator was broken and he was sleeping in there, but he said I was worth it so I don't feel guilty
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
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