You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
i've created a new STD.
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
Currently watching Zombie Sharks while high. This is why I love Shark Week.
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
What's the polite way to say "hey I don't actually want to fuck you, I just swiped right on you because you didn't like me in high school and I needed validation"
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
I just went to cvs and bought condoms, handcuffs and a coloring book
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
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