The funny thing about my wife cheating on me is that the guy probably has genital warts now. Sweet.
i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
Apparently, I showed up wrapped in caution tape and immediately jumped on the stripper pole and started making very sexual gestures at the birthday girl. We lasted ten minutes.
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
he just looked at me, said "i think i'll keep you around, you put the seat back up and everything," and then burst into tears.
want to know what my life has come to? I just took a 45 min shower banging on the walls and making loud sex noises so my neighbors think I get some.
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
I just ran into my psychology professor at Planned Parenthood she asked why I was there and I asked why she was there and it turns out we both had a scare.#bonding because of abortion.
Randomize
