i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
Also, as my manager i'm going to put you in charge of making sure i don't drown.
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
I just blocked a guy on grindr for having a little dick. See? I do have standards.
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
I just had a great idea for an etsy shop. Sell all the shit bitches leave from one nighters
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
Our house rule in beer pong, is that if you get the ball in the bitch cup.... you have to snapchat your balls to everyone on your friends list.
Hey you're my best friend, I'm sorry I picked my vagina over my heart last night.
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
Randomize
