forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
I made $130 by ordering two pizzas and charging them $10 a slice. If they weren't so stoned they might have realized they could have just ordered another pizza for $20.
So I get to my parents and walk in the door so my mom knows I'm safe and alive and my grandpa looks at me and says "were you being someone's bitch". And I about died of laughter
Wow, he seems so solid
How was that my fault?! I made you breakfast and gave you cake, as you asked. Then, you initiated sexual activity.
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
I made out with a guy who was dressed as Borat
And like a minute in, I was like oh fuck what am I doing
Did you run away?
I DANCED AWAY.
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
We told the cop that we were playing soccer, in flip flops, and 2:30 in the morning. It was raining and i had board shorts on. He bought it, lets go get drunk
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
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