Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
i just licked mashed potatoes off my blackberry. i'm not even ashamed to admit that to you.
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
No. I'm drinking straight up vodka right now. With a pineapple in it.
That'll put some boobs in that bra.
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
I found her in my pantry with her shirt off twerking...I tapped her on the shoulder and she said she was giving Chef Boyardee a show and to give her a minute...
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
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