Needless to say when I told my parents they loved me less
Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
I'm inventing beer flavored vodka. This raspberry shit makes me feel like a pussy.
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
Did you push me into the oil wrestling or did I elect to do it?
You said you wanted to do it, but I gave you a friendly nudge.
We're celebrating his weight gain and arrest.and by we I mean I, and by celebrating I mean getting dangerously drunk
she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work
apparently domino's not only has a live feed of pizzas coming out of the oven, but it also has a built in smooth jazz radio station. this pizza's getting really pornographic really fast.
I woke up to an alarm on my phone that said "Buy Plan B" and then the guy offered me a hairbrush... which seemed polite at the time
4 days in college, 3 frat parties. I haven't been this drunk since the unspeakable Jäger bomb incident in Sweden.
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
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