I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
mimosa in my stainless steel water bottle. going green is not that bad.
She was so loose she sounded like a jar of salsa. I didn't know that was even possible.
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
I'm like five sips away from making a Craigslist post for true love and mustaches. My family is going to disown me tonight.
Hey, I'm making progress. I haven't thrown up in a bar while wearing a sweater vest in almost two months.
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
My mother just set me up with the son of the man I fucked last weekend. I could crawl under a rock and die OR I could remember the rules of genetics and hope that JR takes after daddy. Wish me luck...
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