we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
i was so high that i was eating crumbs of my bed only to realize they were fuzz thingies. fml.
Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
Seriously. Come back. I've had two beers for breakfast so far. The third will be for lunch since it's already 12.
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
I have six new people in my phone that I don't remember adding. One of them is "Bourbon Yeah." Successful evening?
Just learned a valuable lesson today. Don't open snap chats from 3 am the next morning while sitting next to a small child. They totally saw your dick.
You know it was a good night when you wake up w/o a shirt in someone elses living room next to a pancake on a spoon in a bowl of spaghetti.
Dude I woke up with a handprint shaped bruise on my ass, a pong ball in my cleavage, and somebody else's gold chain around my neck. Who's house am I in?
My vagina just clenched in fear
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
Randomize
