You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
I was just handed a mimosa the size of my head. Stay tuned.
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
Dude, she puked up her Plan B, then reached in the toilet and re-swallowed it. That chick does NOT want a baby
Say something like you want him to fuck you behind a McDonald's. Guys secretly love weird shit like that.
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
her wearing orange crocs at the bar was definitely a great form of contraception
Just walked by a girl saying to her friend "honestly you coulda given me any dude and I woulda fucked him"
You should've introduced yourself
I woke up in a bush somewhere in Tucson with a full suit on. Great way to end my birthday.
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
They were playing some sort of fast food scavenger hunt game as an ice breaker. Some chick stamped a Starbucks logo on my hand and told me to go find the girl with the matching stamp and fill her with cream.
Dave had an Arby’s stamp and some sorority girl grabbed him and screamed “I’ve have the meat!”\n
Randomize
