yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
My parents showed me my IQ test from fourth grade, I'm shitting on my potential.
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
You know your high, when your chugging applesauce out of the jar with no utensils.
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
I'm not sorry for loving America more than everyone else
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
Please remind me tomorrow that I ate a loaf of jimmy johns bread on the toilet 5 mins ago
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
He gave me a box of cheez-its after sex, does that make me a hooker?
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
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