Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
I think the fact that I shit my pants, threw away my underwear in a frat bathroom, lost my socks down a drain in the front yard and still got laid... deserves some sort of a victory drink for myself or a blowjob for him since he was such a good sport.
Hey, please tell me that you and dad are having actual steaks tonight and I did not just get sexted by my dad
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
I should get an "I gave blood today" type of sticker, but instead it would say "I went balls deep today"
He's ready to settle down, whereas I'm like "More shots please"
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
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