You finger a girl once and she thinks she loves you. I'm going back to boys. Lesbians are needy.
I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
your idea of a balenced meal is a microwave frozen burrito, a cup of ramen noodles, and a can of budlight. honestly tell me how your resolution is to lose weight,
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
I gotta stop tellin complete strangers at the bar that they're the godparents to my first born
Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
Randomize
