I bet he comes in French.
my soul wont recognize me after tonight
WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
the women in the ladies room did not appreciate my innovation of turning a sink into a urinal
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
Annabeth just got on the bar and slurred something about how she was worried that when she started dating you your penis wouldnt fit. You are one lucky bastard my friend.
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
I can smell the sangria seeping out of my pores
I'll just bring the big suitcase this trip so I don't have to play wine bottle tetris again.
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
I WILL KICK YOU IN THE FUCKING THROAT IF YOU EAT MY FUCKING ICE CREAM.
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
Randomize
