is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
before tonight, i was terrified of what tequila would make me do. but all it did was make me hook up with a movie star. sooo basically tequila's my new fave
I had a dream that I got a gift certificate to a lavish spa from my father. I think dream dad, along with real dad, think I'm gay.
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
Jail is not for me. They portion control your meals and I don't really like that.
I'm sorry but if you can't drink a bottle of wine without a glass, I do not think we can be friends.
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
Uh, he still talks to you after you basically sexually harassed him using emojis?
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
I TAUGHT HER CAT TO SIT. CATS DON'T FUCKING SIT ON COMMAND. BUT THIS ONE DID!
It's basically my crowning achievement.
Randomize
