are you so shy because you have an std?
just won a stolen shopping cart in a dance off in a parking lot.
wait do you know what youre gonna say if they ask how youre getting back?
yes. helicopter.
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
Handle of 100 proof captain dressed like a pilgrim here we go
Whiskey shot with bacon bits, our version of Goldschlager WE ARE TRYIN IT.
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
Seriously considering modifying my computer case so it can dispense wine. I need to make a bunch of changes and reorganize it's guts anyway....
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
Apparently I was carrying around a bottle of listerine calling it 5 loco
This is your post bachelor party survival text. This a free and complementary service to make sure you are still alive. For alive, say yes. For hurting, say ugh. If lost, say help. If dead, please feel free to not respond. Thank you and we hope you enjoyed the party.
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