just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
It's always a surprise to see what songs I shazamed and downloaded last night while we were drunk at the bar.
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
I feel like I shouldn't be doing my banking stoned. But I bought a new bowl. Her name is Sharpe. Pronounced Shar-Pay.
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
I was about to take him home and fuck his brains out but then the police came and arrested him for the stolen credit card he had been buying me drinks with all night...
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
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