How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
take the plastic off of my new air freshener and i'm not going to eat you out for a month.
you threw up in the bushes next to the ABC store and kept saying "you're home, blueberry vodka, you're home!"
I am going to get arrested. I am yelling fuck repeatedly, wearing a Bird jersey and polka dot pants while pounding wine. Amazing mug shot to follow.
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
I pulled an all nighter. So hoped up on coffee and aderall. Pretty sure you could take my pulse through a snow jacket...
Im playing lifeguard in my own bathroom. How's ur night?
I had a 10 minute conversation with the refrigerator, it was telling me how it likes to be opened and closed. Ecstasy, I love you.
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
Randomize
