That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
Dude, hurry and get over. I need a wingman. She is on her 6th vodka shot and her resident ugly friend is still sober
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
Nothing says "get your life together" better than waking up in a tub full of your own vomit. Twice. In one night.
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
I just woke up wearing the O-ring from my dildo harness as a bracelet. Classy.
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
After you verbally abused the McDonalds employee for not making your fries fast enough, the fact that you woke up on a random lawn does not surprise me.
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
I'm sitting in the breakroom facing a very large sign that says "inappropriate workplace behaviors", and i can't help but feel like it is directed at me
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
Never in my life did I dream that I would meet and NFL linesman, let alone that he would be standing before me dressed as a Roman centurion and asking for Vaseline.
I'm going to come in the middle of the night and attack you with spoons
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
Randomize
