I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
An alarm set every 45 minutes saying "FATTY" and one every afternoon saying "CASPER" every day until spring break is a foolproof plan to being bikini ready
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
When was the last time you made a good decision when you could've made a shitty one
I had a salad today
Screwed a girl without a condom but hey at least you got your veggies
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
There's something empowering about being at dinner and sitting across the table from two men you've blown.
I walked in on my sister eating my leftover burrito naked. How could my night have gotten any worse?
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
Randomize
