now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
I started singing the national anthem on a train in London. Happy 4th of July assholes
Have to get circumcised. Doctor goes, "On the bright side, you can tell people your dick is too wide."
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
Randomize
