I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
Uh, he still talks to you after you basically sexually harassed him using emojis?
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
just got permission to expense a nerf gun
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
There will be plenty of opportunity for me to sexualize Mike via VenMo.
Randomize
