I spilled a beer on myself, so I went back to my place to change. The city marshall was at my door with a warrant. That beer cost me 760 bucks.
I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
If by any chance I go to the hospital make sure you stuff a pint in my pockets so I can keep up.
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
I cooked you Mac and cheese when I was drunk and drugged. That counts for about 4 meals. Try harder
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
PS- My flight is being emergency landed bc someone smuggled cats on the plane.
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
Randomize
