Tell Heather sorry for burning her hair. Also for anything else that I may have done that warrants and apology. Anything after about 10pm is kind of hazy.
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
You were too drunk yesterday to deal with me crying so I am too drunk to deal with logic.
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
Concept: I never actually flirt with anyone, I'm just a bitch and some people find it endearing
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