I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
Also I just took the BEST ass selfie of my adult life.... it's gonna be a good day haha
Places I vomited today: hotel bathroom, in the cab to the airport, airport bathroom, airport terminal trashcan, plane seat 18E, and the plans bathroom
Fun wedding?
Yes. Very.
bonus check + party bus = big hot mess
Randomize
