she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
I can't believe I just compared my penis to a St. Bernard.
I know everyone screamed lady cop instead of cops. I wanted to apologize to her for our chauvinism
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
There's jack Daniels coming out of my eyes instead of tears.
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
Remind me to tell you a really funny story about me and arson.
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
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