Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
can't come out tonight. went to the bar again last night and the bartender hugged and thanked me so much for my "generosity." I'm intrigued but terrified to see my credit card bill.
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
My mom woke me up in a bubble bath this morning.
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
I'd just like to say before I start drinking tonight that not only do I not find you attractive; I don't want to hook up with you, suck your dick, be your "suga mama" or have your babies. Please disregard any texts, phone calls or voicemails that say otherwise..
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
She asked me to dress as captain planet for halloween and told me she was gonna suck the pollution out of my dick.
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
Randomize
