Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
you were watching a documentary about sharks and wouldn't stop stroking my legs and whispering "what if they could walk?"
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
I come back upstairs and she's leaning over sink full of vomit saying 'oh my god it's the chili'
I SHITYOUNOT DAN JUST PUNCHED A DEER IN THE FACE. MID LEAP.
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
My google history for last night included "Whre is johns house" and "wher can i buy nukes?" Pretty sure they're related to one another.
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
I know you can't find me. Somehow I ended up on the roof smoking a cig with the strippers that are on break. Way too drunk to deal with this right now.
I’m not sure she knows my name. She introduced me as “the fuck toy”
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