I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
Played "Which Couple Will Take Me Home Tonight" at the bar last night... I can now cross three-some off my bucket list
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
At some point, you're going to have to talk to a tree and do what it says
So glad I can hide money in my wallet and drunk me is too stupid to find it. Hangover sushi ftw.
You went outside, peed in the front yard, and asked me to bring you some toilet paper.
my grocery cart consisted of hershey bars, sour patch kids, starbursts, mayo, 4 frozen pizzas, 4 lunchables, and chips. clearly, i can't do this on my own.
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
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