you only like me because i go down faster than a bridge in minnesota
How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
We found you on the floor drooling you kept saying over and over how you were double jointed.
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
Spilled red wine all over my bed. This has to be the fiftieth time ive refused to fall asleep without a drink in my hand
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
Turns out the average person our age has never run from the cops. Life: we're doing it right.
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
Come share oat with me in your robe
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
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