wat bout pragnant strippers??
so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
a chick just tried to cover her fart by sneezing. it didn't work
I am about to be in my happy place. (the shower with a 6 pack)
Just had to explain to a senior manager why I had duct tape residue on my wrist and hand. This weekend was a success.
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
I woke up this morning with a half eaten bagel and an empty pack of imitation crab meat in my bed. This is going to be my response to pick up lines now.
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
I made it to work. Still drunk. Definitely pregnant.
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
Randomize
