Also I am about to cut a ringtone from "Sex Machine" so James Brown can tell me to "get up, get on up" in the morning
I once woke up to the scream from 'get up offa that thing' and smacked my head on my desk
i'm in his bathroom *freshening up* and he not only has a hairdryer... but a straightener. get me out of here... NOW
Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
I had 17 beers 2 days ago. I'm not dad material yet
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
I'm watching Trainwreck with Jeff and realizing that I'm the John Cena in my relationship.
I'm too high and old for this...
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
He set the tone in the back of his car by blasting Marvin Gaye's sexual healing before railing me
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
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