i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
did we hook up?
no, because you kept repeating "itty bitty titties" when i took off my shirt
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
I traded my shirt for vodka. I wonder if my parents can pinpoint where they went wrong raising me.
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
Oh btw I learned how to say "my penis is a flamethrower" in German. Tonights gonna be fun
My bad man. I was at a strip club, and apparently it's like a big deal to take your phone out in one of those places.
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
Had a dream I went to Disney to visit you and then I got really drunk and puked all over these little kids in line
I'm sorry I tried to spit drugs down your throat like a baby bird last night.
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
Randomize
