i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
sometimes i wish i could just stick a turkey baster up there and suck out the blood
its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
Do you know how difficult it is to give head to someone who's imitating Forrest Gump?
Why the fuck is the royal wedding at 4am. That is obviously not the most appropriate time to drink during finals. It's like I'm bound to fail, by royal decree.
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
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