We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
mom and grandma are in town. grandma wants to get drunk with you
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
Do you remember calling yourself Captain Cockblock and openly giving out everyones sexual history? Because you did.
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
And by "hammer out the details" you know I mean spending 20 minutes on wedding plans then getting wine drunk, right?
So the keyword here is "hammered"?
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
im going to hold it over his head for all of eternity. when his children are born i am going to go to the hospital as his wife is giving birth and shove the picture in the childs face, so the first time they see their father is in a drunken stupor looking like a jackass.
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
Woke up naked on a bed full of money, doughnuts, and keys that weren't mine. Unsent dick pick on phone, and cheap cigar butt on my pillow. Also...I maybe hotwired my car.
So red wine goes with eggs, right? Because that's all I have in the house to cook and the drinking options are either wine or scotch
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
Randomize
