i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
I just saw a homeless man dressed as a pirate. I love san francisco.
Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"
You should have been there to see the look on her face when I told her that my dog gives better head than her. It was a beautiful symphony of shock, anger, and disbelief.
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
Whoever owns the butter that i always steal out of the office fridge definitely put THC butter in there this time. Shit just got real.
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
This was the first time I've ever pushed myself until I vomited. Sorry, random couple laying on a dock at 8:30am. I would have picked a better spot so you didn't have to watch/listen to me vomit, but you guys were being MAD quiet. I had no idea you were there.
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
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