Whoa Z and x make the same sound
That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
i woke up to my roommate spraying cooking spray on my legs. fourth time this has happened. not cool.
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
My mom just admitted you were a good looking kid & if you weren't my friend & 30 years older she would do you. I'm going to commit suicide.
It came up in court that I told the arresting officer my name was Thomas Jefferson, and I was born in 1776. I almost kept a straight face. Almost.
Most awkward car ride ever. Kid in the front seat was bawling, 2 in the backseat were ready to fight, and I was giving the last kid a handie. This needs to stop happening to us.
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
Ugh he's so pretty though. He bit my face at the bar because I tried to steal his ID and I forgave him
And I just want you to know I got myself into this mess. I gotta get myself out. Plus, don't you only need one kidney?
I came home with 30lbs of BBQ last night. I can't pick up women in a bar but I sure can pick up leftovers from a corporate party.
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
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