i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
He told me that I smelled like a Glade Plug-in, then sang the Menard's jingle in it's entirety in between kissing me.
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
Just found the cutest bag of coke under my bed. I'm going to get fucked up and bleach the cat vomit out of my sheets.
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
Just discovered i ordered the nhl center ice package back in september, the operator said there was a note next to the time I called, indicating I may have been intoxicated while calling (no clue why but it was noted)...meaning I was drunk...meaning ill never miss another sabres game...i love me and am beaming with self pride
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
Well just give me the address, I'll bring the bourbon. If they let that into mental institutions
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
I LinkedIn messaged people about jobs when I was blacked out
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
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