Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
My poo smells like dog food. That's how I know it was a good night.
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
Waking up in a pool chair wrapped in toilet paper is not what I planned when I agreed to movie night
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
woke up this morning and she was gone. but she left a box of donuts on the counter with a note saying "for all the 'o's you gave me last night"
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
I'm declaring this weekend Captain Morgan weekend
You declare every weekend Captain Morgan weekend...
You just don't understand... :'(
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