I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
No more Irish car bombs ever.
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
I knew my sister shouldn't have gone to the bacherlotte party. Two of the other brides maids have black eyes and my fiancé called me and asked if this is the crazy she's marrying
You know that text I sent you last night at 2? That was 5 minutes before I ran face first into a wall of not okay
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
Randomize